It is almost mid-August and the mental fog that I’ve experienced as part of my grief process is now at a manageable level. It’s not gone. In fact, it won’t be gone for awhile. What I’ve realized recently is that I’ve been dealing with two types of grief concurrently. The first period of grief happened on November 5, 2025. I knew that my life, as I knew it had changed in a profound way. That intuition and concern was right and every single day since then I have grieved what could have been. Then there was the awareness that my Grandma was doing well and sadly passed away this year. She was basically my other mother and it has been really hard for me not to have her here. That said, I want to share the broader impact of grief on my business and some of you may relate.
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Creators Getting Paid
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Show Notes
In looking back at this year, I’ve discovered the different ways that I love to show up for my community and what I didn’t have the capacity to do for most of 2025.
- While I don’t do a ton of 1-on-1 coaching, I do love meeting with people within my community. For most of this year I’ve basically haven’t really met with community members until very recently (especially 1-on-1). In July I started hosting super chill community events here in Denver. Nothing complicated, just casual meetups. I’m now available to meet with Community Members for 1-on-1 coaching but I do have a limited number of people that I can work with each month do to capacity.
- Attend in-person events-I made my way to Podcast Movement Evolutions in Chicago but other than that-I haven’t had the energy to go anywhere else.
- Live workshops and webinars-I typically do these a couple of times a month and the bandwidth/capacity to this was just not there.
- Pitching to speak at in-person and online events-Again, I half-heartedly pitched a few and breathed a sigh of relief when none of those talks worked out.
- Strangely enough-there were three business actions that I was able to continue focusing on and showing up for.
- Podcasting-In fact, I even completed a 31 Day Podcasting Challenge in May.
- Livestreaming in the Substack Platform-I think it really helped that I was co-hosting a show vs. trying to livestream solo. I did that occasionally, but again, I didn’t have the bandwidth for it.
- Growing Creators Getting Paid-I have almost 3,200 community members/subscribers to this project and that growth happened via word of mouth, content curation and staying focused on my end goal (community growth)
- One other thing that has been wonderful is connecting with random Creators Getting Paid community members out in the world. These random connections, hang outs and conversations have invigorated and fueled my energy.
Grief is not a linear experience. It’s will always there with me in the background. Both the grief of losing my grandma and losing what was my country. Here are some things that I’ve learned along the way.
- To respect my capacity and mental bandwidth-Even if I’d wanted to, I wasn’t going to be able to push through what I was feeling. I cry or feel the urge to cry several times a week. This is new for me because in the past I wasn’t a person who cried a lot.
- Feel your emotions-In a moment where everything feels very dystopian and sterile, the capacity to feel deep sadness and grief is a truly human experience.
- Focus on what you can actually do-It doesn’t have to be at 100% I’m not ok and it’s going to be awhile before I will be ok. I’m showing up where I can and doing my best with that in mind.
- Communicate with your community-I didn’t overshare but I did tell my community that I’m not ok. They have been so kind and patient with me because many people have dealt with grief too.
- Spend time in silence-I’ve focused on embracing quiet and calm. Surprisingly, doing that has increased my creativity and ideas that have been helpful to my business. Walking, hiking, reading, sitting on a patio and enjoying a cup of coffee-they’ve all been very restful activities for me.
Grief has given me an unexpected resource which is perspective. I have a better view of the time that it will take to grow what I’m trying to grow. I’m a lot more patient with myself because I’m aware that I have to be in this moment in time while focusing on the end goals that have set for myself. I’m still here. Each day is a blessing and I won’t take that for granted. Finally,
]If you’re currently dealing with grief for whatever reason I just want you to feel seen and you’re in my thoughts.
